Once you suffer from verbal abuse, it can be hard to see a life without it. I have often found myself over-analyzing responses from people trying to decipher if they are genuine or have an underlying harmful intent. It can be challenging to look past the hostile environment that one is accustomed to and see that there are positive people in the world who do not cause harm. 

Once a Victim, Always a Victim? 

Thankfully, no matter how long you have been the victim of verbal abuse, you can break free and change your story. But bringing yourself out of the victim persona is not always easy. For myself, I was angry at my past circumstances and let them dominate my thoughts and feelings for years. As a result, I could not move forward and continually fought my thoughts of inadequacies. 

These underlying feelings altered how I made choices in my life and kept me as a victim longer than I should have been, even after leaving an abusive situation. Even though I lived in a different apartment, I let my abuser take up space in my head by replaying those awful words whenever I felt anxious or nervous about my life. 

I sabotaged myself into staying a victim for years without realizing the damage I was doing to myself. 

Change From the Inside Out

I am happy to say that after using many mental health resources, I have found some strategies to help me heal and move forward and away from being a victim. Not scrutinizing everything my partner says to me for negative connotations has allowed my head and heart to recover somewhat, knowing that he would not deliberately say or do anything to hurt me as others have in the past. 

It takes a great deal of strength and understanding to not fall back into old habits. Although I do have days where I become anxious and upset over a conversation, I try to talk things out so I find that reassurance that I have nothing to worry about in the present. 

You do not have to stay a victim for the rest of your life, even if you have spent your entire life as one. There is the possibility of moving on, away from abuse, and finding peace in the life you deserve. However, if you feel stuck and unable to find the strength to take the steps forward, I encourage you to reach out for help, as I did. Keep looking for the support your need to help change your situation from the inside out.