How to Set Boundaries and Why Setting Them Is Important

2021-10-25 12:17:06 • 960 Views

Setting boundaries gives you control over your life and your time, and protects you from manipulation and doing things you don’t want to do.

Setting boundaries means the ability to say ‘no’, to stop allowing people to exploit and manipulate you.

Acting in this way means that you respect your life and your interests, and acknowledge that your own plans, goals and tasks are also important.

Acting in this way, allows you to find time for yourself and for the things you love doing, instead of enslaving yourself to the whims and desires of other people.

You can set boundaries at work, with colleagues, in relationships, and every other area of your life.

Setting boundaries for other people, your family, friends, co-workers and strangers, protects you from unnecessary stress, anger and resentment.

Do You Set Boundaries and Limits in Your Everyday life?

How many times you were not able to say ‘NO’, and accepted other people’s requests and whims?
Do you allow your coworkers to delegate their work to you and you cannot say ‘NO’?
Do you feel awkward and guilty when you say ‘NO’ to your children, friends or the sales person at the store?
How many times have you felt anger and frustration due to your inability to say ‘NO’ to others and say ‘YES’ to yourself?

If the above holds true for you, you need to learn to set boundaries. This becomes easier if you can display a certain degree of emotional detachment and calmness.

Acting in this way does not mean that you are uncaring and focused on yourself. It means respecting other people, but also respecting yourself, your priorities and your goals.

You can respect people and help them, yet be able to say ‘NO’ when this is the right thing to do.

Your inability to set limits to what people can ask you do, to say ‘NO’ and show inner strength can create a lot of resentment and unhappiness.

Why not try to inject a little dose of inner strength and confidence into your life and stop playing the role of a doormat?

“No is a complete sentence.” – Anne Lamont

Why Do You Need to Set Boundaries?

Personal boundaries are important because they set the guidelines of how you want to be treated. It is a declaration of your rights. Boundaries mean closing the door to what you do not want in your life.

Boundaries are guidelines that you establish, so people know what you allow and what you do not allow.

It’s a way to teach people how you wish to be treated and what kind of behavior is acceptable.

Setting boundaries is a way to protect your physical, emotional and mental well-being, to avoid stress, and keep away from other people’s negative thoughts and emotions.

The limits you impose by your words, behavior and reactions tell people what to expect from you.

Setting boundaries ensures that relations in any area of life can be mutually respectful, appropriate, and caring.

They are a sort of a fence you set in order to protect your time and your well-being, which people should not pass. If you don’t set limits, you allow people to utilize your resources, spend your time, and make you do things you do not want to do.

“When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated.” – Brene Brown

Learn to Say NO

You can be respectful and kind, and still say ‘NO’ to people.

You might feel inconvenient and awkward when you refuse a request. Don’t let this hold you from saying ‘NO’ when you feel it is the right thing to do.

Other people are important, but you too, and your time, are important.

Start saying ‘NO’ on some occasions, when you feel that people are exploiting you, when you have more important things to do, or when you really don’t have the time.

You might feel inconvenience to do so and some guilt. You might also feel that you will spoil relationship and make people become angry at you.

In most cases, people would respect you, if you are polite and kind toward them, and explain in a few short words why you cannot comply with their wish.